


Dying Flames

by dice_daydreams



Category: DreamSMP, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Fire, Hurt No Comfort, I Wrote This While Listening to Achilles Come Down, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, No Beta, Self-Harm, flames, no editing because I'm amazing like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:00:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28607895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dice_daydreams/pseuds/dice_daydreams
Summary: A short musing on Tommy in exile
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Kudos: 16





	Dying Flames

**Author's Note:**

> Hey I wrote something else, don't expect much continuity between thoughts in this. Possible trigger warning because there is mention of self-harm, it's a small mention in a short fic but please be careful.

He had always had such a scorching fire in his heart, never backing down from anything. Tommy had a blinding recklessness, one that could’ve been taken for courage if it hadn’t been many times that his mistakes had bulldozed into so many others. That intense heat that never seemed to dim, proudly worn on his chest, roared too strong. It burned too many people, it burned him too, engulfing his soul in flames of anger and passion. And when it finally died down, all that was left was the shell of a broken boy, abandoned and hurt, forced to face the emptiness of the dark skies above him.

  
Lying on the soft sand of a listless beach, he would attempt to grab onto the thick tendrils of darkness that hung above him with his hand outstretched in the air. He hoped that if he pushed hard enough, maybe the twinkling lights would land in the palm of his hand and he could marvel at them, hold them against cold lungs and absorb their heat once again. Sleepless night after night proved futile in this endeavor, and he would continue to wander meaninglessly, cradling the dying flame, desperation creeping into the sides of his vision the more he failed to stoke those flames again where war had previously tended.

  
Peace was a fatal sentence for him. Tommy had been shaped by war, grown up too fast in the midst of violence, and it seems like he had never had time to learn to live without it. And where familial embraces and comforting conversations had previously been to make him more complacent, a small part of him had always called out for that action again, for the sting of getting too close to the burning action. So, he did what he always did and reached into the space below his ribs and ignited everything around him, wanting it to burn down so he could find purpose again. Now, there was very little left that could spark into something greater, a pitiful flame licking at the inside of his chest cavity, leaving the rest of him shivering and numb. He missed Tubbo, the gentle warmth of his eyes that fed his fire. He missed Wilbur, the yellow shades of his poetry and music that kept him awake and thoughtful. War had always given him purpose, lighting his veins afire, but war without them had made him realize his grave mistakes.

  
He fucked up so bad, losing the best things in his life just to satisfy a scorching desire in the darkest crevices of his heart, barely alive now to even fight back against anything. It was a sick addiction, but he needed the heat of the fire so bad now that he craved seeing Dream everyday. The crushing disappointment of losing everything again and again was addictive, he would feel liberated, knowing that it at least meant he would be in close reach of the flame that used to rest within him again. As he had reached out to the sky on top of his towers trying to catch smoldering stars, he would reach out to those flames and feel the burns in his palms, relishing in the pain they brought him. He deserved it.

**Author's Note:**

> Tommy reminds me of myself a lot of times, desperately holding onto things best left in the past. Hopefully it wasn't too bad :]


End file.
